My Life

How I Have Changed In These Past Years

Today’s post was supposed to be a day in the life, but since I’m sick I’m not doing anything post worthy. So I changed up the challenge a little. This topic was supposed to be published on the 22nd day, but on that day I’ll be posting my day in the life post.

A Little Backstory On Me

I am a very private person. I choose carefully who I tell about my life and how I am feeling.

This post is very personal to me and I didn’t know if I could even post it. But here it is.

How I’ve Changed

I used to be a very open person, always spent time with my friends and went out.

About 7 years ago something changed. I didn’t wanna go out anymore and I only spent time with two people. I had my first panic attack. It was so bad, I started to miss classes at school. I wasn’t feeling happy anymore.

A year later we moved to a different city. My feelings got a lot worse. I blamed everything bad that happened on myself and I hated how I looked.

I gained a lot of weight. I didn’t eat much at all. A sandwich and a few cups of coffee was my whole day meal. I weighed about 147lbs, which was considered almost overweight for my height. I was 5’2”.

I constantly thought about how people would be better without me, that I was a burden in their life.

Only healthy things I did was take long walks to clear my mind. It did help me. But every time I got back home, the bad feelings came back.

In 2013 I went to a psychologist and I was diagnosed with depression. I started taking antidepressants. At first, they did help me, but they made my headaches worse.

The thing that helped me the most was moving back to my hometown. Living alone and finally getting help.

How I Have Changed

When I began working, I started to feel wanted and like I was doing something good with my life.

Thanks to my work I started to lose weight and I now am at a normal weight.

I still have times when depression has come back. Those are the bad days for me. They can last up to a week. And when I’m happy, it’s all flowers and puppies everywhere.

Fitness has become part of my life now. And it has helped me a lot. I do feel a little bit happier in my body, but I do have a long way to go.

In Conclusion

Every day I am learning to love myself and be good to myself. It takes a lot of time and patience. 

We all have our bad days. We learn from them and make our lives easier.

How have you changed over the past few years? Leave a comment and let’s have a discussion.

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